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Coping Through Transitions

Working through Grief: Signs of Grief

Grieving is a painful process. As you work through what the loss of your loved one means to you, it can sometimes be difficult to know what kinds of emotions to expect. Here's a guide to help you identify what's healthy,unhealthy and how to get help:

Signs of Healthy Grief

• Accepting the reality of your loss - not forgetting, but holding your loved one in a new place in your heart and mind.
  
  
• Venting your feelings to someone you trust, whether its family, friends, a professional counselor or a clergy member. For some, it's natural to hide feelings. Talking with a professional does not mean that you are weak or abnormal.
  
  
• Asking questions during the grieving process to make sense of your loss.
  
  
• Giving yourself permission and time to grieve.

 

Signs of Unhealthy Grief

The following list includes a range of emotions and behaviors that people who are grieving may experience as a part of normal grief. However, these feelings should lessen with time. If these feelings persist, become more exaggerated, cause health problems or interfere with daily life, please seek professional help.

• Emotional Feelings: sadness, anger, anxiety, guilt, fear, flashbacks, loneliness, denial, irritability, longing, yearning, meaninglessness, vulnerability
• Physical Symptoms: fatigue, flare-ups of chronic conditions, crying, empty feeling, sleeping problems, eating problems
• Social Feelings: feeling like a fifth wheel, not wanting to go to events, needing to avoid places, lack of initiative or interest, feeling overly sensitive, acting dependent on others, having no interest in activities that used to be pleasurable
• Behaviors: withdrawal, staying in bed, dreaming of the deceased, slowed thinking, not caring about personal appearance, not moving, not wanting to move the deceased's possessions

 

Seeking Help

Again, many of these feelings are common and should be expected while you are mourning. But if they dont get better over time, please seek help. Likewise, if you have any thoughts of suicide, get professional help immediately.

Crisis and psychiatric emergency support is available in the University of Michigan Health System Psychiatric Emergency Room at 734-936-5900. For other support, please refer to the Resources section.

 

This guide was made possible by financial support from the Coach Carr Cancer Fund.

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See Also:

both links open as PDF documents:

• Print the "Coping through Transitions" book
• Grief & Bereavement Information Guide