| A
cancer survivor and expert on humor urges those battling cancer
to allow for laughter in their lives.
There isn't and certainly never will be anything funny about
cancer - which is why some in the midst of the battle feel
they can't, or shouldn't, laugh. But being both, a cancer
survivor and a working comic for over 15 years, I can confidently
say what is funny - is life. It always has been. From your
first greeting in the world being a smack on the bottom to
the fact that time will eventually turn you into your parents,
life is a wondrous comedy. In facing cancer, life is different,
but not any less present. So, just as there was humor in life
before cancer, there can be humor in life during cancer.
I remember the first time I made someone laugh during my
one-year battle. My brother was visiting me in the hospital
after an operation and I was explaining that, before the operation,
I'd had my very first prostate exam. He could see how shaken
I was when I told him. "I had my first prostate exam. Wow!"
As he smiled sympathetically I stumbled on, "I mean, that
was a new experience. I'd heard… I mean, I knew what it was
but… wow. I'd never done…" After another pause, I turned to
him and, with genuine concern, said, "Are they supposed to
use a puppet?" The laughter from my brother was so real, so
genuine and free, it changed the face of all our conversations
throughout the rest of my operations and chemo.
With one fell swoop, that hearty, joyous laughter cut through
the tension of being in the hospital, of facing cancer, of
my brother's discomfort watching me struggle. With that laughter,
I found a way to communicate that would do both, keep fears
at bay and draw others closer.
So it is true, cancer is no laughing matter but, whether
it is cancer or any other trial in life, laughing does matter.
In assessing all the ways I could've responded to my diagnosis,
surgeries and chemo - laughter was the only one that made
sense. I could have raged. I could have kept to myself. I
could have felt cheated and abused by life. I could have felt
everything from depression to cynicism. But laughter was the
only response that, as I used it, helped me grow. Plus there
was a byproduct to sharing laughter. While loosening up my
body, easing the fears of others and building communication,
it provided the most needful tool for fighting any trial in
life - a positive attitude.
The other reactions; anger, depression, suppression, denial,
took a little piece of me with them. Each made me feel just
a little less human. Laughter made me more open to ideas,
more inviting to others, and even a little stronger inside.
It proved to me that, even as my body was devastated and my
spirit challenged, I was still a vital human.
It's often hard to understand the healing power of laughter
because it doesn't make sense to relate physical and spiritual
mending to the same feeling you got when Milton Berle donned
a dress. But it's there. Medical scientists have proved the
existence of healing endorphins released by laughter but,
in plain terms, the magic of laughter is, when you laugh -
if only for that moment - you love your life. And, when facing
tragedy, that is a deep knowledge we all can use.
So I exercised my sense of humor whenever possible. While
in pre-op, during one of my nine surgeries, I was propped
up atop my gurney with pillows as the staff scurried throughout
the room and a young attendant brought me heated blankets
and checked to see if there was anything I needed. Even though
I was in for surgery, with everyone running about and attending
to me while I sat as their audience, I felt as if I were a
Roman nobleman at the forum. Embracing the brief moment of
regal splendor, I turned to the attendant and, with playful
airs, said, "Fetch the oncologist… he amuses me."
I once tried to convince a friend that, along with chemotherapy,
radiation therapy or the complimentary humor therapy, there
was such a thing as nasal therapy. "What happens is, as you
drink a glass of milk, the doctor makes you laugh and the
tumor shoots out your nose. They're still testing to see if
it works with 2% and skim. Plus they're having a hard time
finding a doctor who can make people laugh."
There are numerous ways to allow for laughter in our lives;
rent comedy videos, read the funnies, take the time to remember
the laughter in your past. For my money, listening to Carl
Reiner's and Mel Brooks' Two Thousand Year Old Man routine
is guaranteed laughter. Just getting out and talking freely
to others works. You'd be surprised, when you actually converse
with and engage people around you, how often laughter is the
result.
And this is not meant to say laughter is the only way to
embrace our humanity. It is not the only knowledge we have
of loving life. Cancer patients shouldn't be thinking up new
gags they can do with their bedpans or making crank calls
from their rooms. Nobody is calling for a new generation of
chronic disease comics. Embracing laughter does not mean non-stop
guffaws. There are other ways to stay in touch with our humanity.
There are the little things, such as smiling. There is genuine
love. There is doing whatever it is you do that makes you
feel human: reading, hugging, writing, talking, maybe alligator
wrestling, whatever it takes for you. Many times even tears
help us feel our true humanity.
We live in a dehumanizing society that is centered on image,
demographics, sales and numbers. We seem to be valued only
by what we have or how famous we are. Our humanity and love
of life has been buried and hidden. Then cancer comes along
and tries to take what is left. Through laughter, through
loving, through our own passion for living we can take control
of our humanity once more. We see that life can be simple.
We admit that cancer can be part of life. And we know that
laughter and loving our lives always feels good.
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