Talking Through the Tears:
How to start a conversation about dying

Be willing to talk about dying.
Sometimes people want to talk about death, but they're worried about upsetting their loved ones. If your loved one approaches you about it, he needs to talk. Don't shut him down.

Talk about how you want to live with cancer.
Even if your diagnosis is terminal, you still have choices about how you want to live every minute of your life. Think about what's important to you. Talk to your doctors about what to expect and what kinds of care options you will have. Plan ahead and make your wishes known.

Find ways to share what's important to you.
You don't have to hire a photographer to share your story. Talk into a tape recorder. Write letters to your family. Consider buying gifts or writing notes for future events.

Involve a friend.
If it's overwhelming to figure out where to start, have a friend or family member help you. By asking questions, a loved one can help you focus your story.

Consider complementary therapies.
The Cancer Center offers a wide array of services, such as art therapy or creative writing, that can help you convey what you want you family and friends to know.

Do something else.
Don't get so caught up in preparations that you forget to be with your loved ones right now. Find time for distractions. Think of a reason to laugh.

Don't try to fix it.
Sometimes silence is the best thing for the moment.